One Liners: Superman, Umbrellas, Mr. Ed, Robots, Bikes in NYC, Banksy, Plumbing, & More!

Superman is strong but I bet if he stepped on a Lego piece, he’d feel it.

I think they’re making umbrellas disposable and not telling anybody.

I wonder if the people who design my office’s plumbing knew the pipes were supposed to HOLLOW!!!

We all thought robots would be like Rosie from the Jetsons or R2-D2. But they’re more like the Terminator. I swear if they find out how many times I cursed out my appliances, I’m in trouble! 

So Ed was Mr. Ed’s last name?

I dunno, but after Banksy’s self destructing painting, we might have to call Scooby-Doo and the gang to find out who he really is.

These dating apps aren’t working out. I’m just going to have to meet girls the old fashion way… Stand in front of some fancy looking car and take a selfie and pretend it’s mine.

I overhead this guy have a conversation with somebody about the three types of entertainment. I’m going to venture a guess that his discussion doesn’t fall into any of the three categories.

BEFORE YOU GET A BIKE IN NYC: “I’m going save a lot of money plus it’s green for the environment and I’ll get a good workout.”

AFTER YOU GET A BIKE IN NYC: “GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!! TRAFFIC LAWS DON’T APPLY TO ME!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

 

Man With Inside-Out $10 Umbrella Determined To Get His Money’s Worth.

New York, NY – Braving the downpour with a William Wallace-like stare of shear courage and ferocity, 48-yr-old accountant Stuart Anderson marched down 6th Ave. with his inside-out $10 umbrella determined to get his money’s worth. “No rains can stop us from forging ahead to the promise land! Our journey is the story they will all tell for years to come! We will not yield nor be smote in our pursuit of destiny!” shouted a riled up Anderson as he strode ahead of fellow pedestrians who he assumed would follow his lead. “I will lead you! Keep moving forward!  I won’t stop… Ah dammit, that was puddle! Now my sock is wet through my shoe. Fuck this thing! Stupid-ass bodega umbrella!” At press time, the inside-out umbrella was rescued to be reused as a public art piece in SoHo.