All the fake news that isn't fit to print!
STOP THE PRESSES! HERE ARE SOME EXTRA HEADLINES FOR JULY 11TH, 2019: FULL WATER BOTTLE KNOWS YOU SPENT MOST OF YOUR WORKOUT ON THE PHONE. BALDING MAN IN DENIAL HE CAN'T GROW KICK ASS BEARD TD BANK TELLER EATS ALL THE LOLLIPOPS ON HER FIRST DAY. NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBOR... Continue Reading →
Portland, OR - Pouting like a 7-year-old who was denied ice-cream before supper, college sophomore and part-time valet Danny Shroder was upset your car couldn't form a perfect geometric doughnut. "Dude, I take Advanced Geometry, bro. I know what a 360 looks like. Your clunker made more of a an oval or something twerpy like... Continue Reading →
Queens, NY - Frozen in a stone-face pose while leering with eyes filled with the fury of seventh layer of hell, 42-year-old William Whitmore really thinks the driver's license photographer is pushing it with that squeaky toy. "I just need to renew my freakin' license!! I swear to every sacred artifact on this planet, if... Continue Reading →