Man Wearing Mask Realizes How Bad His Breath Really Is

COVID Mask Breathe Guy

 

Milford, DE – Twisting his face in a way that would make a contortionist jealous, 38-year-old Chuck Werner smelled his own breathe for the first time while wearing a mask for COVID-19 protection. “My God, why didn’t someone tell me I have the breathe of a sewage-eating dragon!” cried the shocked single man. Werner, who has done his due diligence in the fight against COVID-19, met with a rude awakening he did not expect to receive.  “All these years, I’ve been on first dates and first dates only! It all makes sense now. I need to, like, buy better gum or a floss or something. Maybe a mouth air freshener. Do they make those?” wondered Mr. Stank Breathe aloud.  “Get this guy a military gas mask, please! That N95 thing isn’t saving us from his personal pandemic!”  exclaimed Susyn Diaz who passed Werner during her walk to the mailbox.  At press time, flowers and plant life where seen wilting as Werner spoke to himself in bewilderment.

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THE AUDIO ARCHIVES: FRED STOLLER

 

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It’s Throwback Thursday with my 2014 podcast featuring the one, the only Fred Stoller!  Yes, you’ve seen Fred many times before; just look up his IMDb page, and you’ll remember where it was you caught him last! I met up with Fred at the Farmer’s Market in LA to discuss his book Maybe We’ll Have You Back. It’s an excellent story on Fred’s remarkable career as a guest star on a long list of TV Shows ranging from Seinfeld to Everybody Love Raymond and even movies like Dumb and Dumber! We also talked about how being from Brooklyn is a part of this sense of humor, using his quirkiness and neurosis helped develop his persona, and his Brooklyn accent granted him an animation  voice-over career!

Check out Fred’s book Maybe We’ll Have You Back on Amazon  and also with his Kindle Single My Seinfeld Year. Don’t forget to follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @Fred_Stoller. You can also book him on Cameo as well!

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NOTP Podcast: Jeffrey Paul

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My guest on this episode is stand up comedian Jeffrey Paul! Jeffrey and I met up at the Station Bar and Grill before Mike Bonner’s comedy show in Cranbury, NJ to discuss stand up, landing a role in Martin Scorsese’s The Irishman, and the effort it takes to make things happen in your career. Follow Jeffery Paul on Facebook or on Instagram at @jeffreyapul2363. Also, look out for Jeffery in the upcoming film Hungry Saints.

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THE AUDIO ARCHIVES: ERIC VETTER

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It’s a Throwback Thursday with my 2014 podcast featuring Eric Vetter! I met up with the No Name variety show host at the Indian Road Cafe in the Inwood section of Manhattan. At the time, we discussed the 20th Anniversary showcase of Eric’s long running variety show No Name. Starting in 1994, Eric began the No Name show to give stage time to a multitude of artists ranging from comedians and story-tellers to poets, magicians, musicians, and even a flamenco dancer! Hear how it all began and learn the talented names that have graced the No Name stage.

To attend a No Name open mic, stop by the Word Up Community Bookshop in Washington Heights (NYC) on Tuesdays at 7PM. Also check out his other 7PM show No Name & a Bag O’ Chips on the second and third Fridays of the month at Otto’s Shrunken Head.  To find out more, follow Eric on Instagram at @eric.vetter.

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ONE LINERS: John Wick, Sour Patch Kids, Disney+, Fall, 5 Hour Energy, and More!

Gotta love the fall. I’m hot and cold at the same time.

Disney+ is warning about tobacco use in their films. So naturally, like all tobacco warnings, everyone is ignoring it.

A John Wick reboot but instead of guns and knives, it’s just pies.

When we set the clocks back, we will get an extra hour sleep… Or insomnia. Depends on the person.

Save the trees! Use plastic straws. (Am I allowed to say that?)

They now make a Sour Patch Kids cereal. It probably taste like cavities.

What dating apps are out there that are OK with me driving a Toyota Corolla? 

Forget “5 Hour Energy”. I want “2AM Cat Energy”!

I feel like I have a better shot with some of the women on these dating apps if they knew I swiped left on them.

Ever see homeless person with a dog only feel sorry for the dog?

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NOTP PODCAST: DAN LAMORTE

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My guest this week on the NOTP Podcast is stand up comedian Dan LaMorte! We sat down in his office and discussed his career. We talked evolving each year as comic through new life experiences, how his teacher inspired him to write comedy, and ways to continue building as an artist. Check out Dan’s monthly comedy show The Manifest Show at the SoHo Playhouse in NYC and his upcoming podcast with Jack Byrum called In the Aisle (@intheaisle on Instagram and @aisleboys on Twitter). To find out where Dan will be performing next, visit his website DanLaMorte.com or follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @DanLaMorte .

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THE AUDIO ARCHIVES: NEKO WHITE

Neko White IG TN

 

From the archives, here’s my 2014 interview with stand up comedian Neko White! An all time classic interview, we met at the Olympic Flame diner in Manhattan just prior to the recording of his first album Introducing… Me. Neko and I discussed his start in comedy at the age of 14, jumping into stand up full time after graduating high school, warming up the crowd for VH1’s Hip Hop Squares, and the support from his family especially his grandmother.

Catch Neko performing on Saturday, October 25th, 11PM at the New York Comedy Club (241 E 24th Street, New York, NY). Click here for tickets! Ticket are just $25 when you use the promo code “KANG“.

You can also follow Neko on his website NekoWhite.com and on Twitter and Instagram at @Neko_white93 .

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NOTP PODCAST: ANGELA COBB

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This week my guest on the NOTP Podcast is stand up comedian Angela Cobb! We sat down after doing stand up (see what I did there?) on John Larocchia’s Laughter Saves Lives show at St. Alban’s Veterans Hospital in Queens. We talked dealing with mental health issues stemming from comedy, having New York accents, and then dealt with the fact I swallowed a fly.  Be sure to catch Angela’s “My First Time: A Stand-up & Storytelling Show” at QED in Queens. For more, follow Angela on Twitter at @angelacobb, Instagram at @angelacobbcomedy, or go to AngelaCobbComedy.com.

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NOTP PODCAST: ANDREW STEINER

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My guest on this week’s episode is stand up comedian Andrew Steiner! We sat down in Union Square and talked mental health and how it affects comedy (and vice versa), how diet impacts your mental health, and some relaxation techniques before hitting the stage. We also chat about working with John McGinley on some hilarious improv videos!    Follow Andrew on Instagram at @ndrewsteiner, listen to his podcast at truekpod.com, and get tickets for his show: How To Meditate: A Burlesque Show on September 20th at 10PM!

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NOTP PODCAST: JOSH WELLS

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My guest on this week’s episode is stand up comedian Josh Wells! We met up at an amazing sandwich shop in Jersey City called Sub Culture (also home to Mark Henley‘s kickass open mic on Wednesdays).  We talk being “middle-aged” comics, working a 9-5 then hitting shows afterwards, and the return of Eddie Murphy to SNL! To see where Josh is performing next, follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @joshaintfunny and sign up for his newsletter The Josh Wells Weekly at joshwells.substack.com !

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