ONE LINERS: John Wick, Sour Patch Kids, Disney+, Fall, 5 Hour Energy, and More!

Gotta love the fall. I’m hot and cold at the same time.

Disney+ is warning about tobacco use in their films. So naturally, like all tobacco warnings, everyone is ignoring it.

A John Wick reboot but instead of guns and knives, it’s just pies.

When we set the clocks back, we will get an extra hour sleep… Or insomnia. Depends on the person.

Save the trees! Use plastic straws. (Am I allowed to say that?)

They now make a Sour Patch Kids cereal. It probably taste like cavities.

What dating apps are out there that are OK with me driving a Toyota Corolla? 

Forget “5 Hour Energy”. I want “2AM Cat Energy”!

I feel like I have a better shot with some of the women on these dating apps if they knew I swiped left on them.

Ever see homeless person with a dog only feel sorry for the dog?

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