ONE LINERS: John Wick, Sour Patch Kids, Disney+, Fall, 5 Hour Energy, and More!

Gotta love the fall. I’m hot and cold at the same time.

Disney+ is warning about tobacco use in their films. So naturally, like all tobacco warnings, everyone is ignoring it.

A John Wick reboot but instead of guns and knives, it’s just pies.

When we set the clocks back, we will get an extra hour sleep… Or insomnia. Depends on the person.

Save the trees! Use plastic straws. (Am I allowed to say that?)

They now make a Sour Patch Kids cereal. It probably taste like cavities.

What dating apps are out there that are OK with me driving a Toyota Corolla? 

Forget “5 Hour Energy”. I want “2AM Cat Energy”!

I feel like I have a better shot with some of the women on these dating apps if they knew I swiped left on them.

Ever see homeless person with a dog only feel sorry for the dog?

NOTP PODCAST: DAN LAMORTE

Dan Lamorte IG TN

My guest this week on the NOTP Podcast is stand up comedian Dan LaMorte! We sat down in his office and discussed his career. We talked evolving each year as comic through new life experiences, how his teacher inspired him to write comedy, and ways to continue building as an artist. Check out Dan’s monthly comedy show The Manifest Show at the SoHo Playhouse in NYC and his upcoming podcast with Jack Byrum called In the Aisle (@intheaisle on Instagram and @aisleboys on Twitter). To find out where Dan will be performing next, visit his website DanLaMorte.com or follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @DanLaMorte .