Did Sherlock Holmes’ friends call him “Sherly”?

My upstairs neighbor must have changed her name to “Done”. Everyday I hear her on phone shouting, “I’m done! I’m done!!”

They never mentioned bathing in Star Wars. You’d think somebody would say, “I just fought dozens of drooling slimy alien monsters. I may want to go wash up.”

Bumble has changed from meeting singles to meeting specialty drinks and dogs. I also learned 50 new yoga poses today. 

I was going to take the bus to work, but it wouldn’t fit in my briefcase. 

“The Jersey Shore is the place to be this summer!” – Pollution

The original title George Lucas had for the Star Wars Christmas Special was Return of the Ugly Sweater That Aunt Gladys Bought. It was a bit wordy. 

My upstairs neighbors are into clogging, and I don’t mean the pipes. Actually, they do that too.

Not every lie is bad. For example, it’s a good thing say to yourself, “These vegetables are delicious.”

Everybody hates global warming until they go camping.

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"In the creative field, art isn't what you make; it's how it makes you feel." Comedian/Filmmaker/Writer

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