Revolutionary War Saxophonist Sad He Was Left Out of “Spirit of ’76” Painting

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Philadelphia, PA – Drooping his posture with a woeful melancholy expression, Revolutionary War saxophonist Nathaniel Irving Allengton was sad to learn he was left off the final version of The Sprint of ’76. “As I crossed hill and yonder dale, I felt the true calling of my duty to liberty and melody. Alas, I am forlorn to discover my smooth soulful tones  will cease over time as the others march on eternally through canvas,” proclaimed Allengton engulfed in his fate. “I mean damn, you don’t gotta be all dramatic, bro. I woulda kept you in if it was that big of a deal. Talk about a guilt trip!” stated Archibald Willard, painter of Spirit of ’76 who now can’t touch his Salisbury steak dinner. At press time, Allengton was on hill muttering something about Paul Revere forgetting to return him his riding bugle.

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