Queens, NY – Frozen in a stone-face pose while leering with eyes filled with the fury of seventh layer of hell, 42-year-old William Whitmore really thinks the driver’s license photographer is pushing it with that squeaky toy. “I just need to renew my freakin’ license!! I swear to every sacred artifact on this planet, if this guy squeezes that damn purple elephant and asks ‘who wants a peanut?’ one more time, I will shove that camera where the flash won’t shine!” exclaimed a fire engine red-faced Whitmore to himself. “Alrighty! Look right here! Quick… what does the elephant say? Pfffftttttt!!! Pfffttttttt!!!! Oops! Got a little spit on ya. Okay, smile!!” announces Jimmy Blake right before he snaps his twelve picture. At press time, William Whitmore was posing for an overly excited mugshot photographer playing peek-a-boo.
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