One Liners: Superman, Umbrellas, Mr. Ed, Robots, Bikes in NYC, Banksy, Plumbing, & More!

Superman is strong but I bet if he stepped on a Lego piece, he’d feel it.

I think they’re making umbrellas disposable and not telling anybody.

I wonder if the people who design my office’s plumbing knew the pipes were supposed to HOLLOW!!!

We all thought robots would be like Rosie from the Jetsons or R2-D2. But they’re more like the Terminator. I swear if they find out how many times I cursed out my appliances, I’m in trouble! 

So Ed was Mr. Ed’s last name?

I dunno, but after Banksy’s self destructing painting, we might have to call Scooby-Doo and the gang to find out who he really is.

These dating apps aren’t working out. I’m just going to have to meet girls the old fashion way… Stand in front of some fancy looking car and take a selfie and pretend it’s mine.

I overhead this guy have a conversation with somebody about the three types of entertainment. I’m going to venture a guess that his discussion doesn’t fall into any of the three categories.

BEFORE YOU GET A BIKE IN NYC: “I’m going save a lot of money plus it’s green for the environment and I’ll get a good workout.”

AFTER YOU GET A BIKE IN NYC: “GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!! TRAFFIC LAWS DON’T APPLY TO ME!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!”