One Liners: Joe Biden, LEGOs, Escape From New York, Amazon Drones, the NYC Subway & more!

“These scientists don’t know what they’re talking about!” – Trump typing on smart phone made by science.

When they reboot Escape from New York, will it be about getting home during rush hour?

The other day I was all itchy. Think it was from my last batch of laundry. Maybe something in the laundromat? I’m just gonna wash my clothes in Benadryl from now on. 

I’m hoping Amazon Drone technology could be used to carry medicine to poor countries and not just to deliver your “like new” copy of Eat Pray Love.

Irony would be learning the first Amazon Drone order is a copy of George Orwell’s 1984. 

Why is the subway ride so looooooong?! I live in Brooklyn, not Delaware!

I spent 20 minutes the other day trying to correct my friend that W. Houston Street is not “Whitney Houston Street”.

Today’s forecast was hot with a chance of not making any light while taking a cab to job number two.

At age 75, Joe Biden doesn’t mind if you think he’s too old to run for President. However, he does mind if you forget to give him a senior discount when Avengers 4 comes out.

Scene 1: A Bar

Priest: Jesus could walk on water.

Rabbi: Let’s see him walk across LEGO pieces.