One Liners: Bert & Ernie, Facebook, Batman, Poutine, Bloodhounds, & More!!

You have to give Bert and Ernie credit for being the first gay couple to gentrify a ghetto before it was cool.

I heard they were changing the name of Facebook to “See, I told you so.”

While ordering, I made the mistake of pronouncing two different Ns in “poutine”.

I fear for this country. I’m basing this on people’s lack of respect for public bathrooms.

DC Comics confirmed Batman is an atheist. If we are going to get technical, Batman isn’t real either… so there!

Thunder is just God’s way of saying “Get in the goddamn house!”

What if it was the San Diego TidePadres?

This woman on the E Train just sneezed in French. Do I say,  “God bless you.”  or does she say “Pardon my French.”?

Can bloodhounds get lost? 

They should change the “Like” button on these dating apps to “Eh, I guess”.