Fort Collins, CO– Faced with a non-figurative uphill battle while not understanding the need to pretty much wear combat boots with the uniform, exhausted mail carrier Rita Morone doesn’t understand why you don’t just use email. “Seriously? I have to bust my ass because Sally Somebody wants to relive the dark ages and hand write… not even type… a freakin’ letter to her cousin Berti?! Can she not afford AOL dial up? They used to give out free CDs of it in cereal boxes!” exclaimed Morone who’s face now appears to match that of the Night on Bald Mountain demon from Fantasia. “Oh, look at that! No return address! Guess this one can go right up your ass Sally!!” At press time, Morone was developing her own brand of air mail by folding letters into paper airplanes and throwing them out the window of her mail truck.