New Office Building Promises Urinals That Don’t Bite

Tysons, VA – Followed by a huge sigh of relief from future tenants as they dab the sweat off their foreheads, TechCom CEO George Bakersoll announced the company’s new office  building will feature urinals that don’t bite. “With the changing times, comes changing technology, and I feel this effort will lead our company in the 21st century,” declared a proud Bakersoll waving to the crowd with his tiny hands. “What the hell is he talking about?! This isn’t even a thing. How am I going to mark this in the books?” asked Tim Alonzo, head of accounting and future whistleblower. At press time, Bakersoll is planning an elevator without a trap door.