Queens, NY – Surprised by their National League leading 13-5 record so far, the New York Mets ensured everyone that despite the great start to the season, they’re confident they can still let the fans down. “We know what we’re capable of, and we know we can still be disappointing, ” stated GM Sandy Alderson to a flock of reporters who breathed a sigh of relief. “Listen we’re the Mets. And if there is one thing we do best is let down the fans. This offseason we did everything to ensure disaster and we promise to deliver.” Mets fan Sal from Ozone Park had this to say, “This makes perfect sense because at Christmas, I bought my kid a Mets-themed calendar, and it only went up to mid-July. At least I know hell hasn’t froze over. ” At press time, Mr. Met was seen handing out discount passes to Flashdancers gentleman’s club.