Chandler, AZ – Feeling almost certain this may just be the right house to start their lives together, newlyweds Chad and Britney Caleia ask the realtor if the crawl space is good enough to hide the bodies. “We want to make sure we have enough space. We plan on having a few kids, and I’ll most likely have twins knowing my family history. So, a spacious crawl space will be perfect to hide the bodies,” said and eager Britney Caleia while holding duct tape and folding up a large plastic drop cloth. “I’m always away ‘painting houses’ if you know what I mean. So, it’ll be nice to come home to a big house and have a separate space if I need to bring work back with me. Plus, having the extra space means I can turn the den into a man cave instead,” followed an enthused Chad Caleia as he took off his leather gloves and locked up his metal suitcase. At press time, the realtor was seen in dark sunglasses on a park bench whispering to a man in a government-issued suit only known as “Deep Throat”.