Staten Island, NY – Despite having a face that looked redder than a fresh tomato, an embarrassed 32-year-old Chris Seagle, fought valiantly to play off his fart as a noise coming from his brand new gym sneakers. “Dude, I just bought these kicks last night at the mall, bro. I gotta break ‘em in, dude! They’re gonna make noise,” argued Seagle loudly who also tried to play off the fact his gym crush was behind him on the treadmill. “He tried so hard to be cool, but no one was buying it. He even went on to say how he only ate rice before his work out and rice is actually a natural bicarbonate,” laughed his friend Pete while taking down the girl on treadmill’s number. At press time, Chris Seagle was on the gym floor playing off stomach cramps as some kind of way of doing crunches sideways.