Milford, DE – After the egregious results from a recent study proved the high amount of harmful bacteria it can give off, a public restroom air dryer now simply just coughs on patron’s hands. “We’re not fooling anyone anymore as a more sanitary way to dry people’s hands. So, we might as well go all out and be childishly gross,” stated a fed-up air dryer representing the air drying community. “It’s actually quite freeing to be who you really are: a disgusting, unsanitary, disease spreader. I think we can be an inspiration to others who wear the false veil of cleanliness.” At press time, a man was seen making funny faces by inflating his cheeks with the air dryer to impress his fellow coworkers.