Hillsboro, OR – Reluctant to come forward with the real truth, a cracked wall-length mirror didn’t have the heart to tell its owner he will really have 70 years bad luck. “For so long, people thought a cracked mirror only meant 7 years bad luck. It’s actually 70 years, but like myself, mirrors just can’t bring themselves to correct the error,” commented the 1’x4′ mirror that hangs behind a bedroom door. “I mean, the good news is that this guy will get an extra 70 years tacked onto his life, but they’ll be pretty shitty. Who puts a mirror behind a door anyway?” At press time the mirror’s owner was about to step on gum while walking under a hanging piano.