All the fake news that isn't fit to print!
Laurel, MD – With the rage of a scorned Greek goddess and eyes blazing of brimstone fire, 15-year-old Vicky Whitley’s defense of her inner most secrets proved that this high school freshman’s diary has better security than the nation’s cyber data. “Oh my God, Billy, if you even think about opening my diary I swear... Continue Reading →
Malibu, CA - Sitting at his desk just staring blankly at his office phone, Dr. Mark Witherfield, a specialist that only pantomimes his surgeries is seeing a drastic decline in patients. "For a while there, it seemed to be going good. I was finally able to combine true medical and performance arts." claims Dr. Witherfield,... Continue Reading →
New York, NY - After yelling out phrases that would make Larry Flynt blush, construction worker, James "The Big Wrench" Klein was completely baffled when a woman he cat-called showed him interest. "I've been whistling, barking, and yelling out to broads for the past 17 years and not one has ever hollered back. What do... Continue Reading →
Hillsboro, OR - Reluctant to come forward with the real truth, a cracked wall-length mirror didn't have the heart to tell its owner he will really have 70 years bad luck. "For so long, people thought a cracked mirror only meant 7 years bad luck. It's actually 70 years, but like myself, mirrors just can't bring... Continue Reading →
Staten Island, NY - Despite having a face that looked redder than a fresh tomato, an embarrassed 32-year-old Chris Seagle, fought valiantly to play off his fart as a noise coming from his brand new gym sneakers. "Dude, I just bought these kicks last night at the mall, bro. I gotta break ‘em in, dude!... Continue Reading →
Milford, DE - After the egregious results from a recent study proved the high amount of harmful bacteria it can give off, a public restroom air dryer now simply just coughs on patron's hands. "We're not fooling anyone anymore as a more sanitary way to dry people's hands. So, we might as well go all... Continue Reading →
Everett, WA - Fearing the inevitable with the arrival of a new year, a determined calendar photo representing last August is hoping to remain on the wall as art for the apartment. "With this being a new year, I fully realize my services are no longer needed. But it's undeniable how much the tenant loved... Continue Reading →
Flagstaff, AZ - With a rousing applause and cheers echoing to the farthest corner of the building, the call center for a mattress delivery warehouse found it's unlikely hero as 32-year-old Katie Chen pronounced customer Mary Sue Seznetchszcy's last name correctly on the first try. "We've run across that last name a few times this... Continue Reading →
Bridgeport, CT – While boasting prematurely about their destiny to be a part of a deli-style inspired lunch with all the trimmings, the next two slices of white bread let arrogance blind them from realizing they will be used merely for a cheese sandwich. “We’re going to go down in history as the slices that... Continue Reading →
Brooklyn, NY – Concerned about the overall humidity and temperature in his ’87 Lincoln Continental, sweaty mobster Mario “Three Thumbs” Cambrizzi, yelled back to the kidnapped informant in the trunk of his car to make sure he could feel the air conditioning. “Hey Paulie, can you feel the AC back there? You want I should... Continue Reading →